Forming relationships and the Atonement

I have been receiving a tutorial over the past several weeks on how our belief and understanding of the Atonement affects our relationships. I hope I can boil down some of what I have learned. In forming new relationships, the Atonement gives us the ability to risk letting ourselves love another person. We know that that person may harm us or potentially cause us pain, but we trust that the Atonement has the power to fix the pain that another person has caused us. Life gives us experiences with people or situations that can hurt us. We naturally want those problems to be fixed by the person or the chain of events, but most of the time, that person or event cannot fix the problem or change the past; however, that need for recovery is still there. That is why Jesus Christ suffered for all of our “pains and afflictions and temptations” that He may “know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11, 13; Book of Mormon). When we have this knowledge, we can honestly trust that we will be not be left comfortless (see John 14:18) and we can have confidence necessary to form a new relationship.

As we continue to strengthen the relationship, the imperfections of our friend might cause some anxiety and concern about letting the relationship deepen. As we trust in the Atonement, we understand that the same benefits of this Gift are available to all. This allows us to allow others to be imperfect, knowing that we all have the same opportunity to repent and improve. The gift of charity, also available through the Atonement (see A Broken Heart by Elder Bruce C. Hafen on this topic), is necessary to be able to do this: “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.” The trust we have in the Atonement allows us to see that a relationship is a journey of helping each other progress to perfection using the generous gift of Christ.

I love it when the Spirit lets our experiences become our textbooks. I want to better understand and apply the Atonement so that I can form the rich relationships that our Heavenly Father hopes for all of us.